The Higher self

As a leader of teams for many years, I have often found that the best way to motive or in fact inspire people is by presenting them with an idea, a goal or a mission that they can all participate in that is ‘bigger’ than their daily responsibilities, worries or complaints. Once people start thinking about something that is greater than themselves or has the power to elevate their thinking above the daily grind, the entire dynamic of the team changes: Motivation soars, people become much more creative and friendly, more work is accomplished and the work atmosphere is greatly enhanced.

Since becoming a parent, I am finding that children, even as young as ours, have the capacity to respond to a high call as well.

We experienced this initially when we introduced the cats into our household a few months ago. Up to that point, Allegra really struggled to complete even the simplest of tasks. We often believed that she was capable but unfocused or disinterested and as a result, even the most basic of chores like getting ready for bed was a struggle as it took forever! She would walk around the house, singing, picking up pencils and writing things down, talking, telling stories even after she had been reminded over and over again to just get her teeth brushed and into bed! It was both delightful to witness someone so engrossed in a child’s world and frustrating beyond belief.

Once the cats arrived, everything changed. She understood from the very beginning that they require constant care and that responsibility fell to the girls. Allegra has proven that she can be very diligent about feeding them each morning and evening, looking after their litter box and general well being. She really seems to understand that the amount of cuddles she both gets and gives the cats and the sheer joy they bring to her life comes with responsibility and the care. She has come to the conclusion that the work required to maintain them is a very small price to pay. We are delighted because the transformation has been amazing.

Aurora has shown her ability to rise up in a very different way. The school that the girls go to has a standing relationship with an organization called Empower African Children (empowerafricanchildren.org) that visit the US every two years. The tour is called The Spirit of Uganda and their mission is to bring their story and awareness of African life to Americans. The troupe consists of children ages 9 – 22 that have been orphaned by either AIDS or war or other tragedies and have grown up experiencing unthinkable difficulties. All of the performers attend a school that teaches them not only academics but also to be performers and they become natural ambassadors for the charity and their cause.

This group generally performs before large crowds only, in auditoriums all around the Western United States. However, they have an agreement with our school that allows them time to interact with American children. They come to the school for a day, spend time in the classrooms with the children and participate in a proper cultural exchange. In the evening, the exchange continues and the students in the school perform either songs or dances for the children of Uganda. Once the American children are done, the Ugandan children perform segments of their show for the school community. With respect, when the Ugandan children get started with their performance, there is nothing one can do except sit there in sheer wonderment and awe. They put on the most, I repeat, most amazing show you can imagine. The talent, physical strength, musicality, expression…it is an experience that is beyond imagination.

One of the other reasons why they are here is to raise money to fund children’s education as well as other projects such as building new schoolhouses etc. Even though they are visiting our school, the fundraising activity does not stop.

In order to contribute in a meaningful way, each class is responsible for coming up with some sort of fund raising activity to contribute to their cause. Sven and I helped the 4th grade by pulling together a walk-a-thon with very measurable targets, time frames in which to achieve those targets, a date to do the activity on and an incentive for when the walk was finished. We challenged each student to collect no fewer than 4 sponsors that would pay them at least a penny a step to complete the task. If each student collected the $13.72 from four people, they would earn around $54.00 and the class should be able to donate close to $1,000.

Aurora learned first in class that a fundraiser was being created by me and that the class would be able to get started the following morning. When she came home from school, she asked me straight away how it worked and once she understood what needed to happen, got to work collecting money.

I was not sure who she would go to but quickly observed that she had a plan: she would speak to all of the friends she had made locally e.g. the barber down the road, the woman that works in the checkout line at the store, our landlord etc as well as speak to family. I had to laugh when she called my parents as she did not for one second accept a single donation from the family. Instead, she spoke to both of my parents and my two brothers that are living at home and hit them all up for a contribution! I was very impressed, particularly as she was able to get even my Dad to participate.

All in all, she raised close to $400 and it is worth noting, the her class raised $2768! They ended up contributing half of what the entire student body collected in donations. I was so pleased with the way she approached the fundraising challenge and the attitude she demonstrated throughout the process. She really understood why the Ugandan children were here and what needed to be done so she set about raising money with incredible enthusiasm and focus. Aurora was very, very polite when talking to potential sponsors and was so clear when communicating her message. She really believed in what she was doing and she had one of the best weeks at school in a very, very long time.

Unfortunately, the 4th grade girls continue to exclude her, even after three months of being in the class. Whereas it used to upset her at the beginning of the year, she is now resigned to the fact that at recess they will play together and leave her out. The only time she gets upset about it is if one of the people that she sees as her friend is particularly mean to her. Otherwise, she just goes about her business during the school day.

At home, it is a totally different story. When she walks in the door after school, particularly on Fridays, she is visibly relieved. Our weekends are usually great fun and she laughs and really enjoys herself. Then, beginning Sunday afternoons, she begins to complain that she really does not wish to go back to school and says she would do anything to avoid returning. These laments continue until she is pushed out the door on Monday morning. It is really sad to see someone with such a love of learning feel this way about school. I am doing what I can through the parents in the class to help ease the way but more needs to be done and I am working on that as well.

What has been amazing to watch is how this fundraising activity has changed Aurora. She is so eager to go to school in the mornings and comes home each evening with stories of how her classmates are doing with their fundraising, when they are planning on doing the walk, who is going to do it with them etc. The past week, her speech has been filled with things relating to the Children of Uganda and she has been really happy to be part of something so special. Most importantly she feels very happy with herself for being able to participate in raising money for these children and you can see that it she takes both joy and pride in the amount of donation she was able to collect. At least for this time, it appears that the others in her class are also embracing this event and are all committed to succeeding as a group. When it was announced that the class has raised so much money and done it with such ease, the children were really happy and for the first time, I witnessed real cohesion in the group.

What the girls are teaching me time and time again is that doing something for the greater good or undertaking an activity that is bigger than self is transformative and not the exclusive domain of adults. From a relatively early age, children can understand and grasp the concept of helping others. They really have the capacity to take real pleasure in allowing their minds and hearts to expand beyond themselves and rise above their equivalent of the daily grind. It makes me feel very proud and happy to see that these two little girls are learning early on in life not only more about the world but also the meaning of true compassion and service to others. With more of this in the world, it can only become a better place, I believe. I live in hope!