How much more Elastic can things become and how far can one stretch?

When I get comments from readers or hear little stories about what people glean from reading this blog, it truly delights and inspires me to continue. I am acutely aware of the fact that some people like to keep track of what I write because they are committed to the girls, committed to Sven and genuinely interested in knowing how we are getting on in our new lives together. As such, I try to write entries that are very timely and topical for us as this adventure unfolds around me.

During a moment of self-reflection I can say that I am genuinely an optimistic person, which I consider to be a great gift. I also find that my mind works in such a way as see humour and something funny in almost every situation in life. I tend to store the impressions and have built up a reservoir that I draw many of my stories from, that I then share with readers of this blog. It helps so much that the girls are so alive, funny and interesting as they supply me with endless amounts of material. Also, being a parent, as many will know, is an ongoing roller coaster ride so I draw from that as well.

What I am finding, however, is that the pressures Sven and I are increasingly experiencing each day are dulling the sweet impressions of life. It is the sole reason why I am finding it more and more difficult to write this blog and as such, the updates are getting further apart. Not because the stories or impressions are drying up. Rather, my mind is now so consumed with ‘how we are going to make this work’ and that voice is shouting so loudly in my head that when I sit down to write, all I can think about is that I should be doing something more productive that will help our cause then writing “while Rome burns” as I have become found of saying.

The truth is, these pressures we are under naturally affect all of us, not just Sven and I and as such, this blog is a perfect place to record what is going on. Kids, I have discovered, are neither immuned to nor are they unaware of changes in their environment. Regardless of how subtle we like to think they are.

We all absolutely love living here. We adore the town and are so grateful for the setting. We appreciate the landscape and all of the nature surrounding us and try to be out in it as much as possible. The girls are very, very happy in their school and are slowly making friends. Sven and I cannot believe what a warm, friendly, committed and well-informed community this is. We have had a wonderful time getting involved with school events and getting to know the community through meetings, gatherings and the like. On the face of it, this is an ideal place for all of us to be.

Sven and I, in spite of our years of work experience and developed contacts are still struggling to find meaningful work. It is unbelievable and at some point, I am going to write a blog exclusively on the topic, as I cannot accept that it has to be this way. However, it is and the fall out affects us all.

What a situation to be in? We find a place where we are really at home only to discover that we cannot sustain ourselves and I may have to work elsewhere or even overseas in order to do so.

As locally or even nationally I am struggling to find anything, I have had to cast the net wider. I made my first call to the UK on Monday just to see what the market is like. Not even 48 hours later, I am going into my third round of interviews and things are really moving along. It is actually unbelievable to me. I know I am known in London but does it really make that much of a difference? I don’t even live in the country any more. Can a resume and connects not do the same thing? Is the economy in this area for the type of work that I do or even for they type of work I am capable of doing not able sustain someone like me? Whatever the answer is, I am sitting here reeling at the possibility that I may very well get that job. In London! In the next two weeks. What irony. Then what?

As far as the girls go, I have to say they have been amazingly flexible so far. We have had to keep our purchasing and financial participation to an absolute minimum. They have not grumbled one single time. We had to even forego birthday parties this year and with the exception of a few tears of disappointment, they were fine. We managed to make Christmas very rich in the end with all of our projects (and the generous gifts from relatives and friends) so that was great. The girls, by all accounts, appear to be really happy and content in their lives. Sven and I have thus far managed to keep the troubles undercover.

However, this morning, I had a call at 7:00am with this British company. I did not mention anything to the girls but went quietly into the office, shut the door and dialled the number. The initial part of the conversation had nothing to do with me, with London, relocation or anything of that sort. That all came later after the girls had left for school. I assumed they heard nothing and we were in the clear.

However, I learned later from Sven that the girls were straight downstairs, quizzing him as to why I was talking with London. Was I planning on moving to London to work? What would that mean? Sven tried to gloss over it by saying that he used to have to go away to work but they were not having any of it. They pointed out to him that he worked on a project basis and there is a big difference between that and what they fear I am doing. All of that came out of rapid deduction on their parts. They did not miss one detail and push very hard for answers. And they are concerned.

For the first time, they have caught wind of the fact that things may have to change. It is so unfortunate as nothing is confirmed yet and hopefully, such a dramatic step may not have to be taken. With these two however, it is impossible to keep them fully insulated from what is going on around them. These two girls are very sharp and are so quick to pick up nuance and the slightest change in behaviour and then demand answers. They don’t always get them but that does not mean they are not on heightened alert and become extra vigilant in order to be able to gather enough clues to piece things together.

After all of the new beginnings we went through in 2009, I am wondering how flexible they are going to be now if we have to live and work in a less than conventional fashion. I keep hearing over and over again how resilient children are and wish deeply that this won't have to be tested again.

Sven often tells me that all anyone needs in life is to have one person that they know loves them unconditionally and then, it does not matter really what goes on around them, they will be ok. Things are going to continue to be very interesting around here for a while and I am counting on him being right. The girls know for sure that they have one fan in their Dad and I believe we have reached the point where they are certain that have that devotion in me and from me. Let’s see what having two devoted fans does to help them along the way.